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Got “gender policed” pretty hard by someone I care about yesterday, and it totally sucked/ruined my day.
This person said that I get misgendered because my voice, walk, and mannerisms are too masculine. Also, I’m too loud and boistrous for a woman. They were “only trying to help.” Of course, there was some serious victim-blaming going on there. *Sigh*
I am faced with a dilemma, though. If I “be myself,” the probability of getting misgendered goes up. So I’m faced with two options: Put a lot of work/time/money into further feminizing my mannerisms/walk/voice, and lose a bit of myself in the process… Or find a way to not feel like I’m getting fork-stabbed in the soul every time I get misgendered.
Ew. You don’t need to be feminine to be a woman.
Beyond that, my favorite women all have a bunch of behaviors that would be coded as masculine.
Do me a favor? Just kick ass and enjoy yourself.
- Me: Also, realized something this week, the voice that always gets mistaken for a woman is my "official phone call" voice.
- Me: I've literally been using it for years.
- Chiomi: huh
- Chiomi: also what do you mean mistaken
Anonymous said: i have an ex who is a trans guy and (last i knew him) extremely antifeminist, but otoh his main exposure to feminists seemed to be the "men can't be feminist! men evil! trans men doubly evil for choosing to be men!" tumblr style of feminism, so i can't entirely blame him for that one.
Yeah. Sometimes when people are “antifeminist”, and I actually find out what they’re trying to do, it’s pretty much “feminism but I’m not okay with calling it that”. Sort of like the thing where I’ve encountered people who were vehemently opposed to Christianity, as a result of which they spent a lot of their time finding hungry and homeless people and feeding and sheltering them. Yeah, guys, you’re gonna be in for a shock if Matthew 25 is right, and Jesus comes back and says “dudes, that was the best, you are so cool”.
There’s a doctrine in some Christian churches of “secret Christians”, who are people who may not even be aware of the word “Christianity”, or who may be openly adversarial to the church organizations they encounter, but who are nonetheless clearly good examples of Christian ideals. It’s a secret from everybody! And I have met some people I would characterize as “secret feminists”.
And of course, sometimes they really just are anti-feminist, but I try to cut people some slack if they’ve had bad experiences and are reacting to them.
You know, I probably spend more time thinking about the bit of doctrine that might be healthy.
Because I am adversarial to the organized churches I’ve encountered, but I’ve never really shit on the basics of the doctrine. Because being cool to people is cool.
I fucking loathe family guy and always have
When I meet someone who immediately says “Meg? Like from Family Guy?”, I know pretty much everything I need to know about that person.
If I give you my birth name and you immediately respond with an impression of Patrick star, we cannot be friends.
I am convincing myself to go to the Python meet. I’d love to go home and change, but no, I need to be on time. Plus, free dinner. (Usually.)