A Digital Magician

Developer, writer and gamer. Send me an ask.

Oct 1
“SELECT stuff FROM table WHERE test” Me, explaining the basics of a certain query style, because effort

jramonap:

Got “gender policed” pretty hard by someone I care about yesterday, and it totally sucked/ruined my day. 

This person said that I get misgendered because my voice, walk, and mannerisms are too masculine. Also, I’m too loud and boistrous for a woman. They were “only trying to help.” Of course, there was some serious victim-blaming going on there. *Sigh*

I am faced with a dilemma, though. If I “be myself,” the probability of getting misgendered goes up. So I’m faced with two options: Put a lot of work/time/money into further feminizing my mannerisms/walk/voice, and lose a bit of myself in the process… Or find a way to not feel like I’m getting fork-stabbed in the soul every time I get misgendered. 

Blerg. 

Ew. You don’t need to be feminine to be a woman.

Beyond that, my favorite women all have a bunch of behaviors that would be coded as masculine.

Do me a favor? Just kick ass and enjoy yourself.


transgirltumbling:

I’m filled with more than a little literary terror at what Jeph Jacques may be about to wade into.  On one hand, the possibility that Cairiten could happen makes me squee.  On the other, I’ve been steeling myself for the potential ‘but does she has dood parts?’ assumption and accompanying fall out.
But really, this trans character has been handled better than any other I’ve seen to date, so I doubt it’s going to go down a completely transphobic path, though some people may call it that no matter how it’s handled unless he just jumps right into bed with her no questions asked.  The reality is that for many (not all) people who are completely cool with trans people as friends, have to ask themselves some serious questions when they start thinking about getting all kissyface and potentially dating a trans person.
Trans women are women.  That’s that.  End of discussion.  But, some people like dating women with vaginas and some people like dating women with penises, and some people like dating women with both, and some people like dating women with neither, and some people just like dating women no matter what, and some people etc etc etc.
But, if that person has always only dated women with vaginas and they find themselves attracted to a transwoman, they will likely have some questions for themselves.  What does that mean about their sexuality?  Are they comfortable with a woman with a penis.  What will their friends say?  
I think the answers to these questions are ‘That you are attracted to women.’, ‘Probably, have an adult dialog with her about sex, what you are both into, and what both of your current boundaries and interest in new discoveries are.’, and ‘Who gives a shitterpoops?’  However, to get to those answers you have to ask the questions.  I think that’s fair and real and figuring out your honest feelings doesn’t make you a bad person.
So, I hope this story goes the way I want, and if it does, I’m betting there will be questions, hurt feelings, and defensiveness, (and hopefully a happy ending please please please) but that’s the drama that keeps us interested and I have super high hopes that a lot of education and discussion about trans issues will be delivered to a (assumedly) mostly non-trans readership.
If I know Marten, he’s going to say something really stupid and unintended and it’s going to cause drama and maybe a bloody nose delivered by a twin.  But I’m sure it will also be pretty awesome.
(Questionable Content)

transgirltumbling:

I’m filled with more than a little literary terror at what Jeph Jacques may be about to wade into.  On one hand, the possibility that Cairiten could happen makes me squee.  On the other, I’ve been steeling myself for the potential ‘but does she has dood parts?’ assumption and accompanying fall out.

But really, this trans character has been handled better than any other I’ve seen to date, so I doubt it’s going to go down a completely transphobic path, though some people may call it that no matter how it’s handled unless he just jumps right into bed with her no questions asked.  The reality is that for many (not all) people who are completely cool with trans people as friends, have to ask themselves some serious questions when they start thinking about getting all kissyface and potentially dating a trans person.

Trans women are women.  That’s that.  End of discussion.  But, some people like dating women with vaginas and some people like dating women with penises, and some people like dating women with both, and some people like dating women with neither, and some people just like dating women no matter what, and some people etc etc etc.

But, if that person has always only dated women with vaginas and they find themselves attracted to a transwoman, they will likely have some questions for themselves.  What does that mean about their sexuality?  Are they comfortable with a woman with a penis.  What will their friends say?  

I think the answers to these questions are ‘That you are attracted to women.’, ‘Probably, have an adult dialog with her about sex, what you are both into, and what both of your current boundaries and interest in new discoveries are.’, and ‘Who gives a shitterpoops?’  However, to get to those answers you have to ask the questions.  I think that’s fair and real and figuring out your honest feelings doesn’t make you a bad person.

So, I hope this story goes the way I want, and if it does, I’m betting there will be questions, hurt feelings, and defensiveness, (and hopefully a happy ending please please please) but that’s the drama that keeps us interested and I have super high hopes that a lot of education and discussion about trans issues will be delivered to a (assumedly) mostly non-trans readership.

If I know Marten, he’s going to say something really stupid and unintended and it’s going to cause drama and maybe a bloody nose delivered by a twin.  But I’m sure it will also be pretty awesome.

(Questionable Content)


“What the hell is a jay-peg? Do you mean a jay-pee-gee?” A client who runs a photography website


  • Me: Also, realized something this week, the voice that always gets mistaken for a woman is my "official phone call" voice.
  • Me: I've literally been using it for years.
  • Chiomi: huh
  • Chiomi: also what do you mean mistaken

Anonymous said: i have an ex who is a trans guy and (last i knew him) extremely antifeminist, but otoh his main exposure to feminists seemed to be the "men can't be feminist! men evil! trans men doubly evil for choosing to be men!" tumblr style of feminism, so i can't entirely blame him for that one.

the-real-seebs:

Yeah. Sometimes when people are “antifeminist”, and I actually find out what they’re trying to do, it’s pretty much “feminism but I’m not okay with calling it that”. Sort of like the thing where I’ve encountered people who were vehemently opposed to Christianity, as a result of which they spent a lot of their time finding hungry and homeless people and feeding and sheltering them. Yeah, guys, you’re gonna be in for a shock if Matthew 25 is right, and Jesus comes back and says “dudes, that was the best, you are so cool”.

There’s a doctrine in some Christian churches of “secret Christians”, who are people who may not even be aware of the word “Christianity”, or who may be openly adversarial to the church organizations they encounter, but who are nonetheless clearly good examples of Christian ideals. It’s a secret from everybody! And I have met some people I would characterize as “secret feminists”.

And of course, sometimes they really just are anti-feminist, but I try to cut people some slack if they’ve had bad experiences and are reacting to them.

You know, I probably spend more time thinking about the bit of doctrine that might be healthy.

Because I am adversarial to the organized churches I’ve encountered, but I’ve never really shit on the basics of the doctrine. Because being cool to people is cool.


febricant:

imagehoarder:

reneeruinseverything:

 YEEEESSSSS OH LORD YESSSS YES YES YES 

PAGING hellotailor

(via variablejabberwocky)


Sep 30

thatmeggirl:

hermannsparka:

I fucking loathe family guy and always have

When I meet someone who immediately says “Meg? Like from Family Guy?”, I know pretty much everything I need to know about that person.

If I give you my birth name and you immediately respond with an impression of Patrick star, we cannot be friends.


I am convincing myself to go to the Python meet. I’d love to go home and change, but no, I need to be on time. Plus, free dinner. (Usually.)


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